Thursday, March 20, 2014

Mimi

You were my strength, you were my friend.
you toughened me up and thickened my skin.

You prepared me for the life i'd live.
I could never repay you for all you'd give.

My Grandmother some would say you were,
but more than that you were my world.
A Mother to me and my best friend,
You were yourself, did not pretend.

I love you.

Lolly.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

If she could be two people

If she could be two people, she would give him all he needs.
If she could be two people, she would have time to write and read.
If she could be two people, maybe one of her would breathe.
If she could be two people, maybe one could have strength to leave. ~Lgn

Friday, May 10, 2013

Tomorrow still will come..

It's not that I don't see tomorrow. It's just i'm focused on the sun today. When life leads to smiles, I follow. and joy and laughter paves the way. Each gr8 moment goes by so fast, and every hour marks the day. If i were to know you, would you shine a bright new day? Lara Nelson 5/10/2013

Friday, April 19, 2013

By: Me
Revised on February 25th, 2012

Friday, October 19, 2012

Kevin Nelson @ 10 y/o. Music is with Kevin Nelson in the band At Athens Alone @ 17 y/o


Published on Oct 19, 2012 by 
Kevin Nelson @ 10 years old in Gig Harbor, Wa
Song "Lie Much" by: At Athens Alone

Fotos by: Lara Nelson
Video Editor: Windows Movie Maker
Peace & Thanks 4 watching!

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Lara Nelson ~The Power Within 2005


I found these glass beads in the yard not long after my son was taken to Ecuador.  They were his glass beads and got inspired to take some art shots.  These were lonely, sad and desperate days, but I found hope throughout it all.  This was a good day during a hard time.

I did another version of this that I put up on DeviantArt called "Reaching Out" then I painted it with smudge in Photoshop in some artsy way.

This shot, if I remember correctly (i have the original psd file amongst my 1000's of shots I've collected on my external drives) was only slightly post processed in PhotoShop, by cropping out and putting on a black layer.

All else is a candle, my fist, lighting from a window, the beads and my fist.

I found this today by accident. A second one of my external drives appears to be not working (pc wont recognize it, powers up, but does not show a drive letter).  I had a mini meltdown, cried it out for hours, while trying different usb, power cords, even shaking the damn thing.  I know sounds nuts but what I went through to protect the last vestiges of my son's and my past, documentation on his kidnapping, memories, my writings, work, portfolio, College stuff... and on and on ad infinitum, was a daunting task.

Photographs & memories seem to be what's been the most important things for me to collect, but would lose so much with the constant moving around throughout my life.

Back to the this piece "The Power Within".  Because of the insanity of BS I was going through during my son's abduction, I stopped uploading to DeviantArt and missed this one.  I am loading it first to my blog now, then I will add it later to DeviantArt.

Thank you for checking it out... Peace
Lara Nelson
10/18/2012 ~10:00 pm (pst)
(IDK why i put all that above, but I did)

Monday, October 15, 2012

Wrote 7/19/12 (Updated 10/15/12)

The weight of heavy, haunting,
pressure, pushing through my skin,
Rusty nails to put the pieces
on the walls soon crumbling in.

The anxious, bony shivers,
shakes our home into the dark,
The temporary light we get,
soon reduces to just sparks.

Thick is the air we breathe,
Keep still this heavy air,
Living mostly in silent movies,
accustomed to pitied stares.

A life still longing,
for now this our home.
Not left much on this carcass,
just shreds, flesh and bone.

~Lara Nelson



Saturday, October 13, 2012

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Off the Cuff...9-29-2012

The sun was still high up in the sky. The sky was very blue, bright with patches of variably shaped clouds. I was looking out of the passenger side window in the front seat of the brown station wagon as we pulled out of the driveway.

My right shoulder felt warm from the sun beaming through the half cracked window.  I remember thinking that my arm was cooking in my "Easy-bake" oven, and was amused by this when we stopped, suddenly just as we pulled out of the driveway of our house on Paco drive.

I think it was my big brother who noticed the wounded woodpecker.  We were now outside of the car looking at the little hurt bird.  My brother said some things to my parents. I can't remember what they were talking about, but I knew it was about that hurt bird.

My brother asked me for my fisher price barn.  It was in the front seat on the floor and I was happy to get it.  

I looked up to James. He had gentle green eyes, like our mother.  He had so many animals in the Paco house.  I wonder what happened to them, looking back in retrospect.

I leaned in and opened my barn. I don't remember why I knew what he was going to use it for, but I emptied out the farm figures, little plastic fences, those rounded wooden people figures with mini plastic golf ball heads, onto the floor of the front seat.  I gave it to James and he carefully lifted the bird and placed him in the top loft of the red toy barn.  I loved him so much at that moment and felt so much warmth that day.

Driving down the highway with my arm ready for a bun and sauce, I placed the barn on the floor. I held the barn in my lap for what seemed a very long time. It was dark, impossible to keep my eyes open, so I bunched up some pink puffy thing, maybe my down jacket and let the sound of the engine lull me to sleep.

When I woke it was morning.  Everyone was talking, i think it was about breakfast.  We pulled into a drive-thru and got a bunch of food in paper bags, steaming with something that smelled like food.  My brother asked me to pass him the barn with the bird and I did carefully.  

The next memory was when my brother, mother and I were helping "Woodstock" (named after Snoopy's yellow, upside-down, flying friend), build her nest.  We stood on the second floor back balcony of our new condo in Santa Cruz.  Woodstock would fly to the wood rail of the balcony and delicately pick up a twig that I, my brother or mom would set there. 

Woodstock would fly back and forth, collecting the twigs.  It was magical and it felt good to assist in making her nest.  I just remember how cool it felt that this tiny little woodpecker trusted us that much. We did this using one twig at a time and over a period of hours or days (I'm not quite sure), Woodstock had her nest in the tree just across the road from the back of our condo.  

I spent many hours on that balcony during that time.  Sometimes there would be the whole family out there, sometimes myself, at times my big brother, or my other brother who was 5 or 6 years younger than James. It was a small balcony.  Not even big enough for a table, maybe one chair, but we all managed to fit out there, together at some point, feeding Woodstock worms or something that woodpeckers eat.  

Not long after that (my mom or brother, dad, not sure) handed me some heavy, black binoculars and I could see the nest! There were little baby birds squawking and Woodstock was putting food in the mouths with her beak.

I'd go out onto the balcony early mornings, as the sun would rise and listen to the "tap tap... tap tap tap" of her knocking her beak into a tree.  I believed it was her and that was good enough for me.  I was 5 and it did not take much to make me all fuzzy inside.



~LGN 9-29-2012

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Off the Cuff...9-25-2012

The day is dark,
the clouds are gray.
The 'Sound of Silence",
begins to play.

She dreams in private,
for few do know,
what's inside,
and will not show.

Too many pieces,
all broken and far apart.
Too many holes to fill a broken heart.
Too many places, too fast and moved too soon,
With each new dynamic, she's viewed more as a loon.

But, the day may rain,
This soothes the pain,
into daydreams she falls.
Her smile is in school today,
he's on his path and on his way.

She dreams of paving the cracks in the roads,
She'll pick up the pieces,
fix, mend and sew,
Mixing and fixing the pain in our souls,
Broken, but better,
for now we both know.
But, he's still a child,
there's much room to grow,
She hopes truly he see's
what she's trying to show.
And he's always shown her,
that love is enough,
that can't be replaced by tales
and a bunch of old stuff.

This kid is so sweet and kind in all this,
it's taught her something more.
He does not care about those "things"
that haunted her before,
He love's to see her laugh and sing,
and this he wants much more.

The rain will come, and may stay dark,
As with the sun it fills her heart.
We've battled, hurt, but come this far,
after the rain, may come the stars.

~LGN 9/25/12 (will edit and re-edit till it makes sense to me)