She'd walk on broken glass,
cutting deeper in her feet.,
feeling nothing with each step,
each step shed take,
nothing she'd feel;
pain is for the feeling.
Dedicated to anxiety and fear,
She turned to madness and lithium tears.
This went on for several years.
Abilify did not give her ability.
Wellbutrin did not set her free.
Lamictal, well she got the rash,
Insurance did not cover, she did not have the cash,
so, they switched her to another, and it made her raving mad,
they'd keep her locked up, then kept setting her free, no doctor's
advice, sedated sub-reality.
Rocking in the corner,
staring into the past.
Shes' feeling so alone here;
and wished it would end fast..
Grief filled voices saturated the air;
prescription pills they eased her cares,
And stop all that was fun,
till the clouds completely replaced the sun.
Feeling alone, yet with someone.
Guarded secrets locked her in.
Strange words with no translation.
No one she wished to share this with,
for then she was only waiting.
many faces she'd pass by.
She'd smell their sweat, feel their fear,
She felt the same inside.
Cigarette littered grass,
smoke poisons placid air.
Voices loud and caustic,
loneliness is here.
Back to her kitchen she went,
in front of the furnace she rocks,
into the past she stares,
into the wars she has fought,
back in time she'd compare,
over and over again,
until nothing is real and all is pretend.
Painted pictures in her mind,
fast flying as they'd come.
The pills held back much of the pain;
yet too held back the sun.
By Lara Nelson AKA Rainseed